Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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