We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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