If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
