He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
These tits shall not be calmed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
