We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
