never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
