u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize