Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize