I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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