i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
