Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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