ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
