Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
