remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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