Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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