Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think brook has ever known best
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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