your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
