These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
