hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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