Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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