How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
