He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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