that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
