Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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