tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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