What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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