In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize