you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
