Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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