how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
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ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize