so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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