She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
