OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
