just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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