Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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