he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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