My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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