I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
