you would pick up someone in the library
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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