I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize