Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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