I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
