I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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