I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
