What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.