3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza