never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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