I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
