Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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