i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
