That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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