then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize