I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
