I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
