if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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