No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
