We're facebook friends in real life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
