I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize