I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
