you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He passed out mid-signature
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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