if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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